Aug. 12, 2005
HOW DO YOU GET THAT LONELY?
Country music is famous with providing us with songs that speak to the core issues of our daily lives. The thing about life is that those songs can't always be happy ones, if they are to be real. Life isn't always filled with home runs and cheering crowds.
Sometimes it is filled with silence.
Blaine Larsen's song struck a chord of fear in me each time I heard it last year. As a parent of four kids aged 5, 7, 21, and 25, my hopes and fears take various forms.
This song is about a young man who has taken his own life, and features all the questions that are asked by the people left behind.
Life imitated art recently for a friend whose son faced all the internal demons and exterior pressures that are a part of growing up, and at age 18, chose to take that fatal step to escape. This young man was the light of his Mom's life, but now, for her, there is only darkness.
When my older sons were in middle school, I always prayed that they would be the type of kids who would be liked and accepted by their peers. As a teacher and coach, I have spent my adult life among young people of all ages. Anyone who has been around kids, knows how cruel children can be, and what a difficult time growing up can be if you are on the outside of your group.
This young man wrote that he didn't seem to really fit in with any particular group and that he felt lost. How many more like him are out there, and how much has each of us contributed to their struggle?
There is no pain that compares to the loss of your child. Nothing in this life prepares one to face that dreaded day, but how much worse to not get the chance to say goodbye? My friend will spend her life asking questions that have no answers.
There are thousands of songs about lost love that tear at people's hearts. There are songs about people dying, and how their void can't be filled. But a song about this sort of loss is the saddest of all.
A nice boy is gone.
I'll always remember the day he crashed into his mailbox as I tried to teach him how to ride his bike. He got right back up and tried again.
I'm just sorry the ride of life was so tough on him. KC